dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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