I skipped work to stalk him.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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