I want to stick my p in your. b.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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