I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
