Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
