He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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