Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
