We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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