Im at strip club and am horny
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
