I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
