Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
