I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
