I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she peed on how many people?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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