i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize