He uses pillows to masturbate.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
