are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
