She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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