Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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