Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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