My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize