guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
