Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
