I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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