She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ladies don't puke and tell
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
