Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
