Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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