So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
