He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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