Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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