You work out of a Hotel?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize