Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
