I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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