Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize