Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
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