remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
