fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
