Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.

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(360): View more from Washington

Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'

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(256): View more from Alabama

I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

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(620): View more from Kansas

I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.

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(727): View more from Florida

Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?

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(775): View more from Nevada

I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.

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