You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
