with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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