dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
