Someone shit on the floor
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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