Got a toothbrush?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
