It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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