I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That accounts for only three of the penises
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
