Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
