It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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