I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
