dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
