can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
