OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
