I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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