should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize