batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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