Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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