I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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