Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
