He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
