I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my shit smells like andre
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
