So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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