My boss' voice literally gives me gas
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
