So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
